Rainbow Quartz Publishing

We’ve been watching this remarkably cute Hallmark movie series, All of My Heart, which follows a couple who run an inn. Now, I can overlook the cheesy lines, the predictable plot, and even the many little continuity errors—like doors magically opening and closing, food disappearing and reappearing on plates. My biggest issue? They didn’t even try to “GOAT” correctly.

In the first movie, there’s a brown and white Alpine goat (or at least I think it’s an Alpine) named Gabby. She has twin baby goats—who are mysteriously white, by the way. No goat father in sight, but I can forgive that, because let’s be real, no one wants to deal with how stinky billy goats can be.

But then, in movie two, Gabby undergoes a transformation. She’s no longer brown—I’m pretty sure she turned into an American Pygmy! And not only that, she’s now black and white, and so are the twins. Oh, and they’re still babies. Here’s the thing: the house, the yard, the color scheme—all of it has changed. They even fought over the paint color in the first movie! Sure, they mentioned remodeling, and I thought, okay, that checks out. Maybe they took out a loan or magically poofed themselves a whole new property makeover. Fine. But those goats? They should have aged, but instead, they’ve gone through a complete body transformation without growing a day older.

Then comes movie three, and of course, I’m still excited because I’m a sucker for a happy ending. But now, there are three baby goats, all the same size, and they’re nursing in one shot. And guess what? They’re a completely different color again! But time has definitely passed—at least another year, since one of the main characters went from using a Blackberry (where he kept baby goat pictures) to an iPhone 5 or 6. So my question is: why haven’t these goats aged?! And where did the third baby goat even come from?

Did no one Google “goat” before making what is otherwise an adorable set of films? I mean, they’re cute as hell, so I guess I can’t hold a grudge. But come on, aging goats isn’t that hard to get right!

*Phew*

Okay, rant done.